I am so thankful that I have faith, because if I didn't, I don't know where I'd be. Without faith, how does one know that things will be okay? When times get tough, what do those faithless have?

The faith that God will provide us a family is what gets me through each day. I KNOW that God has a plan and I am just waiting for it to unfold. This Saturday is National Adoption Day and although I am sad that we do not get to feel the joy of adoption, I am excited that ONE DAY we will be celebrating along side other adoptive families.

Our journey is a crazy one and each day brings new joy, excitement and fear. We never know what is going to happen next but still have our faith that whatever it is, will be God's will.

5 Wonderful Years

Last Friday was our 5 year anniversary!

The last 5 years have been wonderful!!! We have done so much since getting married. We moved, built a house, started our amazing jobs,jumped into the foster care world & built an amazing marriage. Looking back it seems like yesterday that we said "I do", but if you would have asked me to look forward 5 years from our special day, it would have felt like an eternity away.

At a glance, our lives look pretty simple...and nice. We are healthy, have a nice home, drive decent cars (okay, one decent car and one car straight from the devil himself!) and have a great marriage. But when you look deeper, you'll see that we are imperfect people, just like you. 99% of the time we get along, but there's that 1% of time that we disagree (hence why it took 3 years for me to get a dog!). We have also dealt with more personal stress than most of the married couples I know. Not being able to start our own family was a devastating blow to us. We never imagined that would be a challenge for us. It is one of the hardest things I think we (we as a couple and we as individuals) will ever have to go through. It is the kind of stress that tears people apart. But thankfully, it has brought us even closer together---if that was even possible. God is growing us as individuals and as a couple and I couldn't be happier to be on this journey with my amazing husband.

Love you, babe!

Anniversary dinner at The Old Spaghetti Company

(after dinner Matt surprised me by taking me bowling at Lucky Strike)

Happy Father's Day! It has been one crazy week around our house! Matt got sick Thursday night and it was pretty bad. I took him to urgent care on Friday night and after 2 hours & a $50 bill, they could not figure out what was wrong with him. They suggested we go to the ER at the hospital around the corner. He has had this same type of thing before, so we just went home (it was 9pm by this point) and he woke up feeling much better yesterday. Unfortunately, now I think I am getting whatever he had. Thankfully mine just consists of nausea, which I hope will soon go away. We both pretty much just laid around the house all day yesterday.

Today was the Radiant Car Show! Matt stayed home since he was not 100% yet and I took the baby with me. He had a great time in the baby room :) He gets spoiled rotten by all the teachers on the weekend AND during the weekend...what a lucky boy!

This truck was my fav!

Ever have a day where you just feel like you're on a roller coaster? I have. Actually, everyday is one of those for a foster parent. One second I am happy to be the proud foster mom of this incredible baby, then the next...fear of what might happen down the road. Ugh! I hate to make all my blog posts about depressing, annoying, Debbie-downer stuff, but unfortunately, it's our life right now.

I even lost it with a co-worker today. He asked me how the baby was and I just broke down. I felt bad, but I really don't get to vent much about details because we are so cautious about what we share. Poor guy really got to hear some crazy stuff! As if it's not enough to not know what the future of your family looks like, we are living in fear, physical fear of our foster babies parents.

So I apologize for the negative-Nancy attitude lately. Please pray that we can all be happy and just soak up all the baby time that we have.

Every time I need a pick-me-up, I can just look HERE :)

I had a song stuck in my head tonight. I have no idea how it got in there. I haven't heard the song in years. It was Eddy Money's "Take Me Home Tonight". Random I know. I do not own the song but really wanted to hear it. So what did I do? I you tube'd it of course! What did we do before You Tube?! Whenever I'm on the computer and want to hear a new song, I just you tube it. I officially love You Tube!

Just a little less than 2 weeks and we will be in Michigan with baby Hailey! Riley, Numy & Emma are bummed, but we are beyond excited :) And we have direct flights, which makes the trip even better. We spent about 12 hours traveling to Florida (one way!) this past Christmas. I was so sick of being in the airport and on cramped little airplanes that I wanted to scream! I can't wait to see Hailey, Jonny, Betsy, my mom and my grandmas. We will be making a special trip to see Great Grandma Cora because she is not feeling well. She has Congestive Heart Failure and just had two heart attacks. I am so glad she got to meet Hailey and get a five-generation picture with our family.

Here's the 5 generation picture that we've been waiting so long for...

Oh, and just in case you're wondering, I finished the night by listening to "Crimson & Clover" & "I Think We're Alone Now" :) It must be an 80s night around here!

January is flying by! It is January 17 already....where did the first half of the month go?! I have been so busy that I can't even find 5 minutes to write on my blog...man, that's sad! But I guess spending time with the cutest little guy around is time better spent :)

Our foster license is up for renewal in April, so we have to get all the paperwork in by February 20, so that's been my main project right now. It's a lot of paperwork! Pauly is still with us. We have no idea when he is going back. I secretly want the judge to say that he will be staying with us forever :) But I know that is not going to happen, so I am not letting my hopes get too high. I, the queen of impatience, am abnormally patient these days. I am quite proud of myself :) I know it won't last, so I'm soaking it up right now. I think it is because I am finally realizing that God has a plan, a plan that is much bigger than anything I can ever imagine, and I just have to be patient and know that everything will all work out in the end. Why couldn't I have realized this 3 years ago?! Duh, because I'm stubborn!

Brighter news---Baby VanSpyker is due in just a few days! I cannot wait to hold that little bugger next month.

The sale of the house is going great so far. We are hoping everything continues to go smoothly and that we can find a place to live (once the offer is approved) that is much closer to church. I can hardly wait to have a 10 minute drive instead of a 30 minute drive (each way!) 6 days a week. I dread having to pack this house....boo. I am so organized and complusive that having things in boxes, scattered all around is torture to me. Especially with a baby. Ugh, I am having a hard time thinking about it right now. So I shall stop and think about better things :)